Gathering Speed

Everyone always looks at the end result. This is true for everything. The Spanish American War; who won, who lost, how many people died. Watson & Crick: don’t tell me what they had for lunch, just tell me what they did. The middle doesn’t really concern anyone. But there’s something to be said for the journey, and you can’t accurately describe it until it is over. So it was officially on when I saw the headline:

Danny Bonaduce is gone from The Adam Carolla Show.

The show has been a larger part of my life than it probably should be. I haven’t missed a minute of the show since August 2006. Literally, not one minute. I can’t listen to the show live, and when I do, I still go back and listen to the whole thing on the podcast. The show made my day job in Chicago beyond bearable and all of my drives in Los Angeles entertaining. I get all of my news from Teresa Strasser, and there really isn’t much to say about Carolla that hasn’t already been said. The guy is a genius, a Howard Stern for people who like to think.

And then there was Bonaduce.

When he started, my reaction was one of confusion and rage, partially because it removed Dave Dameshek from the show, but primarily because Bonaduce is a classic radio personality; all shock and ego. He put on an air of intelligence, but it was nothing more than surface level, considering his repetition with the things he seemed to know and understand. The Duce personified a transaction from A Fish Called Wanda:

“Apes don’t read philosophy!”

“Yes they do, Otto. They just don’t understand it.”

I don’t think he ever caught on, but the recurring bit Dick Gobbler’s Morning Zoo was a shot at Bonaduce’s style. Anyway, it wasn’t until late February that I started tolerating his presence on the show.

Fast forward to Ace’s “illness,” a mysterious two-day, three show hiatus that confused the bejeezus out of all of his regular listeners, who know his rants about work and The Rally Gene. Something was amiss. Either Lynette or one of the kids was sick or no one was. Anyway, that Wednesday show with Teresa and Bonaduce wasn’t so bad. It actually had me thinking, “Wow, Bonaduce is actually holding his own here.” And then there was a sequel the next day, and the strangely non-Ace-like Christmas Special.

It was odd because I found myself getting frustrated with the Bonaduce haters on the message boards and the occasional phone lines. I guess the idea was that I had accepted Bonaduce’s presence as being a part of Carolla. I wasn’t going to stop listening to the show because of the Red Man’s contributions.

But then every now and then he’d be late…and the show was better.

There was no denying it. My acceptance of Il Duce was nothing more than that. My frustration with people who hated him was the same as with the people who complain about the government and don’t vote. I knew Jack Silver liked Bonaduce, and I know that he was extended, so there wasn’t any point in complaining about it. And now he’s out. And the show will be better for it.

Whether it was actually true that Carolla’s absence was a hunger strike to get Bonaduce out of there has yet to be seen. I’m guessing he’ll be honest about it when the show returns in January, considering the level of candor with which he approached the removal of Jimmy Brusca, Fat Tad, and Dameshek last year. He always talks about how little he cares about his fans, but that’s the only reason Carolla would do this, considering the improving ratings throughout Bonaduce’s tenure.

But it’s a testament to how good Carolla is that all of his fans stuck with him during the Bonaduce-Era. We all accepted it. We needed to know what he and Teresa had to say about anything and everything going on in the world. And we’d do it even though we had to listen to snippets of a regular morning show running in the middle of our extraordinary one. And for our loyalty, we get the old Ace back on January 2^nd.

We’ve earned it.